Day Three

Day 3

Back in work. Ready, Aim, Fire!!!



Once inside I needed to fill in a ‘Return to Work’ form. Ok,. Funnily enough, there is no box for broken heart, severe depression and comfort eating! I get the usual bullshit about commitment which almost makes me want to vomit blood at the thought and then I broke down and tell them what happened. They almost care. ALMOST. But quite frankly it’s doubtful whether they actually gave a fuck at all as I sat there and poured my heart out, explained how I almost never came back, almost just packed a bag and took a train back to Liverpool, that nothing mattered and that’s why I never came in. That I came in today because there were no other Team Leaders in and so I pushed back my emotions and took on the ‘responsibility’. Did they care? Oh, we appreciate that Mike.’

Thanks for the compassion, remind me of this the next time you want sympathy you evil fuckers!!!

Today/Tonight:

I guess this is as good a time as any to explain my job. I work for a distribution company who supply a well-known supermarket. I best not name it, but let’s just say there are more reasons to shop there apparently. I’m a Team Leader of a bunch of (mostly) idiots who are given the easy task of putting picking sheets on fresh food that is then picked. Of the fourteen people only four are English with the rest coming from Eastern European Countries (Mainly Slovakia, Czech Republic, Poland, Lithuania and so on) as you can imagine, this makes ‘leading the team’ a bit difficult. Though not too much. For the most part they are fine; it’s the English that are the problem!

I know I shouldn’t complain and it is nice to know that people care, but when you get asked ‘Are you ok?’ or ‘What happened?’ and you have to keep repeating the same story again and again it starts to make me even more numb than I am. Everyone is shocked. More shocked than me, which is a little odd. I bumble through the day, trying to avoid conversations, trying to get on with the work, trying to focus my mind on everything but that. It’s not easy. It’s eating me up and it won’t be long until there’s nothing left of me.

Nothing whatsoever.