Previously on The Michael Show...

It seems only appropriate to begin at the beginning and then work my way back... sort of... I’m moving to Preston tomorrow. There are probably some of you thinking ‘Preston, but aren’t you from Liverpool... are you not in Bristol? What the ...?’
Yes, Bristol.
Guess I should backtrack.
Alright then...
In November I received a letter from the landlord that said he was selling the house and therefore we (me and Nicole) would have to move. WHAT THE FUCK?!!!
Ok, so this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I moved and to be honest I was kind of hoping I could settle for at least the full six months before I decide to blow my brains off over the hell that life had become. Don't you hate it when people say things like that? It's like 'Really? And how exactly would you do that? To procure a gun from some place in order to blow your brains off?' Thinking about it sadly, it's probably not as difficult as I imagine to obtain a gun to do this.
Anyway...I'd had enough of Bristol due to one thing or another. I had become sick of the mess that was my life and a change was needed. Now of course this meant two things:
1. Quit my job
2. Tell Nicole
It's odd how telling Nicole was the hardest part. Mainly because I knew that it would upset her, but mainly because, well I had become almost a brother to her over the time together. But as cruel as it felt to leave her alone I had to do it. She cried. I felt like a dick and to be honest she had every right to make me feel that way.
Work was the easy one. Or it should have been, except they hit me with a bombshell. How do you fancy three months as a Secondee Manager? Say what? Say What! Me Secondee? What? No, no, no, no. What? In Ambient? So what you are saying is instead of doing it in the area where I have been working for the past three years, you want to send me to an area I have no idea about? I should have said no. But there was a part of me that wanted to see what it was like. It was like some perverse Pandora's Box that I had to look inside, even if it was just a peek, just a peek!
Suffices to say I hated it. And why? It was because I couldn't do nothing. And by nothing I mean literally eight hours of completely nothing. It was horrifying as my brain was slowly mushed into the size of a pea, which seemed to be all that was needed to do the job.
After three days I had had all I could stands I could stands no more.
Fuck this noise man!
I'm out!
Handing in my notice is possibly one of the scariest and most satisfying things I have ever done. The feeling of saying 'That's me done!' and then two weeks feeling utterly bulletproof, people trying to change my mind and what is more I got to say the line I always wanted to say 'I'm late from my break? What are they going to do? Fire me?'
The last day was sad, but not as much as I thought it would be. I think the worst thing was when I organised a night out. I specifically made it my weekend so that I could spend a night with the people I had worked with. All of a sudden everyone cancelled EVERYONE! Even Alyssa and Nicole! Everyone started going on about the cost and despite me saying repeatedly that I would pay for taxis they kept saying they wanted to just stay in and drink.
It should be noted, that when Polish, Slovak etc people drink it is nine times out of ten some traditional alcohol that you could power a tank with! Sure a small glass is fine as a shot, but when they start filling tumblers with the stuff you begin to wonder what your liver will look like in the morning.
So instead I went out with the other weekend staff who seemed to want to celebrate my last few days in Bristol. There's an irony in there somewhere methinks.
A week later, I had my first and it sounds crazy to say, only ever coffee with Alyssa. It was hard sitting across from her thinking that she was possibly the only reason to stay in Bristol, but as she went on and on about Morla it suddenly sunk in that she was happy and I had to respect that. Nicole was also sad, but to be honest if I had to stay with her for any longer talking about how perfect Odo was I would have choked on my own bile.
Packing I realised just how much stuff I had and really as I sat in the room I wondered what exactly all that stuff was? I had boxes of books and DVDs and then ever other box seemed to have ‘Misc’ scribbled on it in black marker, I could see I would have fun later trying to find anything.
I suppose I should fastforward now. After a few months of adjusting back to being in Liverpool and trying to find a job which of course came in the middle of the credit crunch, which sounds to me like a type of cereal.
‘Kellogg’s Credit Crunch! Almonds and Honey Clusters in a bowl. You have to credit Kellog’s for the crunch!’
During all this I met someone. And by that, I don’t mean I’ve met someone who is utterly unobtainable and I’ll spend the next few months complaining about how she only sees me as a friend, while discussing her cheating boyfriend. She is perfect and I do hope that I won't fuck this one up. Fingers crossed everyone! She's called Claire and as I say is just perfect. After all the job searching in which I had to sign on, which was slightly depressing, I found a job working in Preston which is about a two hour commute (Never make it easy for myself do I?) and so after over two months of me being braindead by all that travelling I finally decided to bite the bullet...
Why do we say that anyway?
‘Bite the bullet?’ I mean to what purpose would we be biting the bullet for? In its context it would mean 'To do the inevitable despite the consequences', but would biting the bullet be the inevitable? The inevitable in what circumstances? When would you find it necessary to in the end just bite the bullet? It makes no sense. Surely there must be a better example of having to try something that could be bad than that.
Anyhoo...
I decided to bite the sausage (No, doesn’t work!) and moved to Preston. Moving tomorrow and so it’s packing again and if I’m honest it’s been a lot easier as I had most of my stuff already still in boxes. Hopefully it will all be fine.
We shall see...